How to Support a Loved One in Therapy (Without Trying to Fix Them)
When someone you care about starts therapy, you might feel hopeful — maybe even relieved — that they’re getting help. At the same time, you might also feel uncertain about your role in their process. How do you support them without overstepping? How do you avoid trying to fix what they’re working on?
At Nurtari, we believe that healing happens in relationship — not through control, but through connection. Here are a few ways to support your loved one in therapy in a way that honors both their journey and your own.
1. Lead with Curiosity, Not Solutions
When your loved one opens up about their therapy, it can be tempting to offer advice or share what you think might help. Instead, practice curiosity.
Try asking:
“What’s been most helpful about therapy so far?”
“How are you feeling after that session?”
“Is there a way you’d like me to support you right now?”
Curiosity communicates, “I care about your experience,” rather than, “I know what’s best for you.” Often this type of curious and compassionate presence will deepen the connection and support your loved one in growth to tolerate and move through uncomfortable emotions.
2. Don’t Make Therapy the Only Topic
It’s okay — even healthy — for your relationship to include more than just talk about therapy. Keep connecting in the ways you always have: sharing meals, walking together, laughing over a favorite show.
Healing is often supported by normalcy, and maintaining shared joy reminds both of you that growth doesn’t erase connection — it deepens it.
3. Trust Their Process
Therapy is rarely linear. Some weeks, your loved one may feel lighter; other weeks, they may seem more distant or emotional. This doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working — it often means deep work is happening beneath the surface.
Remind yourself that their therapist is helping them hold what’s too heavy to carry alone. Your role isn’t to fix, but to believe in their capacity to heal and to hold space for them on their journey.
4. Reflect on Your Own Reactions
Supporting someone in therapy can stir your own emotions — worry, frustration, guilt, or even defensiveness. That’s okay. Use this as an invitation for self-reflection.
You might ask yourself:
“What’s hard about seeing them in pain?”
“Am I trying to make their process easier for them or for me?”
“Do I have the capacity to be present as a witness while my loved one experiences uncomfortable emotions (without trying to make them feel better)?
Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is tend to your own feelings, perhaps even with your own therapist or support system.
5. Celebrate Small Shifts
Healing isn’t always visible. It might look like someone pausing before reacting, setting a boundary, or simply showing up differently in a familiar situation.
When you notice those moments, name them gently — “I can tell you’re really trying to communicate differently,” or “It seems like you’re giving yourself more grace lately.”
These affirmations can strengthen their sense of agency and resilience.
Reflection
Supporting a loved one in therapy is a practice in compassion — for them, and for yourself. It’s about trusting the process, creating space, and remembering that healing doesn’t need to be fixed. It needs to be witnessed.
At Nurtari, we honor the courage it takes to both seek help and to walk alongside someone who is healing. Both roles matter deeply in the journey toward wholeness.