DBT Skills You Can Use Today: Simple Tools to Support Your Emotional Well-Being
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers practical, real-life tools that anyone can start using right away. Whether you’re navigating overwhelming emotions, relationship stress, or moments when your thoughts feel out of control, DBT helps you build a sense of stability and confidence. At Nurtari, we believe mental health support should feel accessible, compassionate, and doable — even on your busiest days.
Below are DBT skills you can begin practicing today to support emotional regulation and overall well-being.
1. STOP Skill — Pause Before Reacting
One of DBT’s most powerful crisis-management tools is the STOP skill, a quick way to interrupt emotional impulses and prevent regretful decisions.
S – Stop: Pause the moment. Don’t act on the urge.
T – Take a step back: Physically or mentally. Take a breath.
O – Observe: What’s happening in your body, thoughts, and environment?
P – Proceed mindfully: Choose the next best step, not the fastest one.
Why this helps: STOP creates space between the emotion and the action. That space is where grounded, values-driven choices can happen.
2. TIPP Skills — Calm Your Nervous System Fast
When emotions spike, the body often needs to calm down before the mind can think clearly. TIPP skills are designed to shift your physiology out of crisis mode.
T – Temperature: Splash cool water on your face or hold an ice pack to calm your system.
I – Intense Exercise: 1–2 minutes of vigorous movement to release adrenaline.
P – Paced Breathing: Slow your breathing to 5–6 breaths per minute.
P – Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tighten and release muscle groups with an exhale to reduce tension.
Why this helps: TIPP overrides the stress response, allowing you to return to baseline more quickly.
3. Wise Mind — Finding the Balance Within
DBT teaches that we have two primary states of mind:
Emotion Mind: Driven by feelings, urges, and intensity.
Reasonable Mind: Driven by logic, facts, and planning.
Wise Mind is the integration of both — the grounded, centered place where intuition and clarity live.
Try this:
Pause and ask yourself, “What would my Wise Mind say right now?”
Notice the answer that feels calm, steady, and true — not reactive or detached.
4. DEAR MAN — Communicating Assertively
Healthy communication is essential, especially during conflict or when you need to ask for something.
D – Describe: State the facts.
E – Express: Share how it impacts you.
A – Assert: Ask clearly for what you need.
R – Reinforce: Explain why cooperation benefits both people.
M – Mindful: Stay on track; don’t get pulled into defensiveness.
A – Appear Confident: Even if you don’t feel it.
N – Negotiate: Be flexible, not rigid.
Why this helps: DEAR MAN allows you to hold boundaries while protecting the relationship.
5. Self-Soothing Through the Senses
When emotions become overwhelming, grounding through the five senses helps bring you back into the present.
Try choosing one soothing activity from each category:
Sight: Soft lighting, a calming image or item, stepping outside.
Sound: Music, nature sounds, or gentle quiet.
Smell: Candles, essential oils, coffee, or fresh air.
Taste: A warm drink, mint, or something comforting.
Touch: A soft blanket, warm shower, cozy clothes, or applying lotion slowly.
Why this helps: Sensory input signals safety to the nervous system, bringing a sense of calm and regulation.
6. Radical Acceptance — Letting Go of the Fight
Radical acceptance doesn’t mean approving of a difficult situation. It means acknowledging reality as it is so that you can stop fighting what you cannot change.
Try saying to yourself:
“This is the situation right now, and resisting it is increasing my suffering.”
Why this helps: Acceptance reduces emotional intensity and opens space for problem-solving and healing.
7. Opposite Action — Change the Emotion by Changing the Behavior
When emotions are intense but not aligned with the facts, acting opposite to the urge can help shift the feeling. This is a great practice to adopt when you feel stuck.
Feeling sad? Engage with others or get outside when there are urges to isolate.
Feeling anxious? Approach the situation rather than avoid it.
Feeling angry? Try gentle tone and relaxed posture.
Feeling shame? Share with someone safe.
Why this helps: Our actions reinforce our emotions. Changing the action often changes the emotional state.
Putting It All Together
DBT offers a toolbox of skills that are accessible, practical, and immediately helpful. You don’t need to master everything at once — even using one or two skills can make a noticeable difference.
At Nurtari, we help clients use DBT skills alongside somatic, relational, and trauma-informed approaches to create sustainable healing. These skills aren’t just strategies — they’re pathways toward more regulated emotions, healthier relationships, and a stronger sense of self.