Signs and Symptoms of Disordered Eating That Often Go Missed

Understanding the subtle clues your mind and body may be sending

Most people imagine eating disorders as extreme weight loss, drastic dietary restriction, or obvious purging behaviors. And while those signs can be present, eating disorders often begin long before visible symptoms appear. In fact, many individuals struggle quietly for years because the early warning signs look “normal,” get praised by others, or are dismissed as stress, perfectionism, or life changes.

At Nurtari, we believe that early recognition saves lives. The earlier someone receives support, the easier recovery becomes. Here are the less obvious, commonly missed signs of an eating disorder that deserve attention and compassion.

1. “Healthy Eating” That Becomes Rigid

It can start with good intentions—choosing whole foods, caring about nutrition, trying a new wellness trend. But when healthy eating becomes inflexible or anxiety-provoking, that’s a red flag.
Signs include:

  • Feeling distressed when “safe foods” aren’t available

  • Avoiding social events because food is involved

  • Feeling “good” or “bad” based on what you ate

  • Needing to track, weigh, or measure foods or one’s body to feel in control

What looks like discipline can actually be fear.

2. Changes in Mood, Irritability, or Withdrawal

Food is deeply connected to emotional regulation. When someone is under-nourished or preoccupied with food, their mood often shifts before their weight does.
Common signs:

  • Increased irritability or quick frustration

  • Social withdrawal

  • Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities

  • Difficulty concentrating

These are often misattributed to stress, anxiety, or work—when they may be symptoms of a struggling nervous system.

3. Exercising for Regulation Rather Than Joy

Movement is healthy—until it becomes compulsive. Signs include:

  • Working out even when sick, injured, or exhausted

  • Feeling anxious or guilty when missing a workout

  • Relying on exercise to “make up for” eating

  • Preoccupation with numbers ex: needing to burn a certain number of calories, complete a certain amount of time or distance

This often gets praised, making it one of the most missed indicators of distress.

4. Obsessive Thinking About Food

You don’t have to be restricting to be obsessed with food.
Signs:

  • Constant thoughts about the next meal

  • Watching food videos or recipes excessively

  • Feeling “out of control” around specific foods

  • Planning meals far in advance

Food preoccupation is a hallmark of under-fueling—regardless of weight.

5. Digestive Problems With No Clear Cause

Chronic restriction, bingeing, or purging often shows up in the gut:

  • Bloating

  • Constipation

  • Feeling overly full after small amounts of food

  • Acid reflux

  • Nausea

Many people pursue GI testing for months before anyone screens for an eating disorder.

6. Eating “Normally” in Public, Then Struggling in Private

A person may appear to eat well around others—but:

  • Skip meals when alone

  • Binge privately

  • Hide food or wrappers

  • Purge or exercise after social meals

  • Experience intense shame or anxiety afterward

These dual experiences often go unnoticed by friends and family.

7. Perfectionism and High Achievement

Eating disorders commonly occur alongside tendencies that are socially rewarded:

  • High standards

  • Strong work ethic

  • Overachieving

  • Avoiding failure

  • Constant self-criticism

For some, the eating disorder becomes a way to cope with internal pressure.

8. “Normal” Weight Doesn’t Mean “No Problem”

One of the most damaging myths is that a person must look a certain way to have an eating disorder.
People of all:

  • weights

  • body types

  • genders

  • ages

  • cultures

experience eating disorders. Many are severely ill while appearing medically “normal.”

If You Recognize Any of these in Yourself or Someone You Love

You deserve support—not judgment. Eating disorders are not choices; they are adaptive strategies formed in response to stress, trauma, and moments when the nervous system needed protection.

At Nurtari, we help clients reconnect with safety, nourish the body, and heal the parts of them that learned to survive through food behaviors. Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to walk through it alone.

If you’re unsure whether you or a loved one may be struggling, we’re here to help you sort through the confusing parts with compassion and clarity.

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